Why I hate taking my car.....

Travis: Oh my god, it's touching cotton!

Me:What the hell does that mean?

Travis:You know, it's touching cotton.....

Me:And I still don't know what that means....

Travis:Oh man, that's gonna stink.....

Me:Oh my god, what the fuck? Did whatever smelly thing that crawled up your ass just make its bid for freedom?!?

Travis:That means I gotta crap.