Rock-rolling 101

1.It helps if you do not throw your ball in the gutter. You actually want to knock down pins. Easy concept.

2.If you are over 70 and still bowling, be very careful, no one wants to see you break a hip. (Yes Pappaw, I'm talking to you)

3.Happy Gilmore was a very funny movie, but no one wants to see you cuss and throw your ball across the bowling alley(unless you're me, I'd think it was hilarious). Also, pouting like a 5 year old is not attractive. You fucked up, correct what you did wrong, get over it, and move on.

(I will admit that I have been guilty of #3 many times, but it's a whole lot less funny when it's a 45 year old man)

5.You do not get to pout that you did not get a strike. Unless you're one of the top bowlers in the PBA, you fuck up just like the rest of us. Get over yourself.

6.Unless you are a top bowler in the PBA, have been doing this for 20+ years etc, you do not get to tell me how I should bowl. Really, it's annoying.

7.If I get a strike/spare, I do not need a giant pat on the back as though this is a once in a lifetime occurance. Contrary to your beliefs, I'm actually ok at bowling. Jackass.

8.If I am pouting/angry about the way I am bowling, please shut the hell up. I know it's just a game and has no real bearing on my life, but just the same, it bothers me. You telling me it's no big deal only pisses me off more.

9.If you act like you are the king/queen of bowling it's only natural that I will laugh at you when you fuck up. Nobody likes the jackass that acts like they're god's gift to bowling.

10. (This one is for you Pappaw) Please please PLEASE stop telling me to "quit dropping that ball" when I bowl. First, I have no fucking idea what that means. Second, I'm already unhappy that I fucked up, you pointing out that I fucked up only upsets me more. I still love you though.